Ideas About Birth

When I think of my birth, when I dream of my baby being born, it is calm and quiet. I am kneeling on the floor, and reach down to touch my baby's head. I am always amazed that the head is there, coming so quickly. It never hurts too bad, and I am amazed by this. I am always alone, or Scott is sitting on the couch, acting oblivious.

When I think of it "logically", I think that something could go wrong. I realize that the baby could be hurt somehow...and yet I know it won't be. The thought of giving birth alone is surprising, amazing. I think of the shock of people, and the inevitable defence of my actions. I think of the calm after, being able to sleep soon after the birth. Seeing my baby, and not worrying about having to go home. Taking a shower when I want to, and not being followed, unless I ask for it. Or being allowed to stay in the tub as long as I want. Or getting out. The thrill of enjoying my baby with no one else to take it from me. Not that the midwives did, but they sure bothered me alot. I remember being so irritated that they wouldn't just leave me alone. Birthing at home would eliminate that. Birthing alone.

Picture is of Caelin, my waterbirth at Bella Vie Birthing Center.